Managing identity to prepare for startup failure for an improved and sustained mental health
Struggling with identity
There is barely any profession that connects your personal identity with your professional identity as profoundly as founding a startup. Not only do you get a close connection to your identity as a founder, but also, in early-stage companies, you usually are the company. Combine that with most founders spending their wake hours working on or thinking about the venture. You start to understand why at dinner conversation, the question “how are you doing?” slowly transfers to “how is your company doing?”.
Clearly identifying in significant parts with a company, with an endeavour that – statistically speaking – will probably fail, is risky. We know that the success rate is only partly in the hands of the founders, which makes the former fact even more bizarre.
So please, prepare yourself for failure. I didn’t, and I fell into a deep and dark hole after the collapse of my last company. Subjectively speaking, that is. Objectively the deep and dark hole is more of a tiny pit, a small indent. That dent, however, does not change your perception of it. It took me six months to a year to return from this pit.
The identity of the founder
Regard life as a canvas for the moment. On this canvas, we will add everything that makes up an identity. Your hobby adds to this identity, whether you perceive yourself as intelligent, friendly, kind or all the other attributes that come with a set of examples. So, you might find yourself with the identity of an ambitious goalie, a good stick shift driver, a helpful and handy friend, and many others. You will act in accordance. If your friend requires help handing up a picture, you will allow her to support your narrative of yourself.
Now, enter the startup. You work on it most of the time, everybody asks you about it, and you have to defend yourself in front of customers, investors, friends and loved ones about why you do what you do. All of this leads to your identity shifting more and more towards the founder’s identity. In your canvas, most of it is now the company that you co-founded.
The shock of failure
From one day to another, failure becomes evident. It is doubtful that closing a company comes in a slow and considerate process. So, most of a founder’s identity might crumble from one day to another. This fluctuation leaves these founders with an identity crisis that considerably affects their emotional energy and mental well-being.
Preparing to fail
Two strategies are beneficial for founders to follow to prepare mentally for any kind of failure. Of course, these strategies are not limited to failure in business but to any substantial change or trauma in personal life. Hence, neither I nor any business thinker invented these strategies. Still, they are well-established and well-researched ideas from behavioural therapy.
From External Self to Internal Self
Change the labels you give yourself from external, like “startup CEO”, to internal. External labels are based on what you would put on LinkedIn. Internal labels are based on your needs. It might be like “creator of climate-friendly fulfilment solutions” in that case. If you fail in one company, you can still fulfil your identity with these internal labels. Here are some questions that might help you find your internal labels:
· Whom would you like to be if there were no Instagram and no LinkedIn?
· If there were no one to impress, no one to judge you, what would it be you do?
· How would you describe yourself if you had none of your achievements to show?
Practising mindfulness
Since here is nothing new, I’ll just give a brief overview of mindfulness methods:
· Gratitude
· Appreciation
· Reflection
· Exercise
· Meditation
· Sleep
The first two, Gratitude and Appreciation, are “Doing” tasks. You can do them actively, and they require no change of lifestyle, just a little practice. While these are the most important, they are also the easiest to incorporate into your life. Plenty of tools and products help you establish habits in these fields.
Reflection is a “Planning” task. You must set some time apart for reflection, which requires some process. Since many people already practice habits like “Getting Things Done” or SCRUM, many productivity frameworks already support time for reflection.
Exercise, Meditation, and Sleep are the hardest to bring into your life, as they require an extensive lifestyle change. Nobody needs to get up at 6 to Instagram a morning routine, which is stupid and brings in external labels again. However, making time for these habits also brings physical health benefits.
That said, not all techniques are for everyone. For example, although I can meditate, I don’t find it helpful. Thus, I decided not to do it and try to make more time for exercise instead.
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